So, this is the new normal. Under lockdown, we wear our masks, wash our hands, and scroll the days away while waiting for Miss Rona to see herself out. But there’s no need to be lonely while alone: DADDY is putting the social in social distancing for our QUARANTINE issue.
According to science, the mind of an introvert is well-traveled and vividly colorful and the mind of an extrovert is beige and has tuberculosis. A lot of people like to say that they are introverts but they’re probably just assholes or judgmental madmen. Seeing past the garbage is exhausting.
As an introvert you are made of solitude, animals, museums, bookstores, online ordering and naps. When you find love it will probably be forever because, alas, you are a treasure in a sea of shipwrecks.
Opposites attract and real introverts find loud friends. Your best friend will appreciate your ability to chill in the background while she attempts to be the next Kirsten Dunst. You will appreciate making plans once a year and still feel close.
As an introvert you can’t fake excitement. So you have to quit working where you’re miserable. The perk is that when you find what you love, you’ll thrive at it. You’ll be the next Dali, Chaplin or Einstein.
Your power to sleep too much and daydream all day is actually what gets you, quiet and aloof, the crazy beautiful luck you get making life plans. Your ability to see all the potential of a bright future solidifies your fortune.
Drive-thrus and self-checkouts are amazing. If it weren’t for the nosy check-out attendants they’d be perfect.
You will have the perfect answer for everything in five years. This argument with your partner may not end well now but in five years you will know exactly what to say and you will hit him with it when he’s already deteriorating into a self-destructive trash can.
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